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    Search me

    I’d been thinking that I’m about due for a weird-search-term post, but when I looked back, I realized that there hasn’t been all that much variety after all. There’s just a lot of variation on a few themes, some of which are kind of disturbing:

    japanese forget the year party grope
    groping chik@n videos

    That first one is actually from almost a month ago; I started a post and saved it and then didn’t get around to finishing it. Despite the fact that the New Year is long gone, the topic is a perennial.

    You would not believe the number of searches I get looking for things about chik@n: “videos” and “instructions” especially. I can only assume it’s the same for any other Japan-focused blogger who’s been unwise enough to mention the phenomenon. I’m trying to believe that the overwhelming majority of Googles are from social scientists doing research. (Please don’t show up to disillusion me.) But whatever the motivation–and I don’t want to be encouraging any sickos here–I have to say: instructions??!! Who needs instructions to figure out how to grope?

    JAL close shave

    Which one, pray tell? There’s been a new report issued about the turbulence-induced shake-up of a Tokyo-Fukuoka flight a few years ago that caused a bunch of injuries. But perhaps you mean the near collision a few years ago that would have been one of the highest-fatality disasters in civil aviation history if it hadn’t been averted.

    gay culture kyushu

    HANDS OFF MY MAN, BITCH!

    Oh, uh, sorry.

    What I mean to say is, I think it’s most active in Fukuoka, which would make sense since that’s the largest city and a major transportation hub. Japanese friends are always going on and on about how hot Kyushu guys are; I’ve never really seen it. Now, Okinawan guys….

    do all white men have defined chests

    If only! Actually, there was another, almost identical search a few days ago, so either someone is investigating this with the assiduousness it deserves or there are two people out there who might do better in their quest if they pooled their resources.

    BTW, do I really use the word chest that often? I don’t rightly remember doing so, but I can’t think of any other reason I’d be showing up in so many “chest” searches.

    smooth chest guys

    [smirk] Wrong blog, honey.

    Japanese ripening woman mature sex picture

    Also wrong blog, honey. Or buddy, or whoever you are. Though take my word for it: if that’s your thing, I think it’s great.

    You know, over there somewhere.

    8 Responses to “Search me”

    1. I only read this blog for the ripening woman mature picture. Isn’t it frightening? This week I had tips-on-how-to-make-your-dog-have-sex-with-you, as well as stuck-suppository-in-the-ass. How can you have a stuck suppository in the ass? Doesn’t it dissolve? Go away, whoever you are!

    2. To whom it may concern: yes, all white dudes have defined, magnificently sculpted chests. Not all of us are smooth, but SOME of us are tastefully trimmed

    3. Sean Kinsell says:

      “Isn’t it frightening?”

      Hell, yeah. Along those lines, it may interest any Asian lesbian readers I have that, if you’re looking for employment, there seems to be a VERY LARGE market for whatever visual media you might produce, sometimes with disquieting props specified.

      “Not all of us are smooth, but SOME of us are tastefully trimmed.”

      Uh, is that a dig at those of us who don’t go for the clipped-chicken look?

    4. Sean, if you want to go for the Olduvai Gorge look, that’s your goddamn business

    5. Sean Kinsell says:

      Uh, by which you mean looking like Olduvai Gorge or (what I’m figuring) looking like the original primate inhabitants of Olduvai Gorge? All I can say is, some of us got the genes for orderly growth. Or tasteful-without-trimming, if you prefer. Why screw with what nature has already edited?

    6. Portia says:

      LOL. Just LOL. And that’s part of the reason I read this blog.

      (Yep, found it by looking up “hillarious libertarian guys.”)

      P.

    7. Portia says:

      Oh, on the Asian Lesbian thing… I get a disturbing amount of spam offering pictures of below age girls and farm animals.

      WHY? Before you ask, I don’t frequent porn sites, I don’t send email to anyone too strange and I don’t post my email in public sites.

      Oh — and my lack of interest in below age girls (well any girls, but below age, urk) is matched only by my lack of interest in farm (or any) animals. (Unless in the context where they get cooked &are served with a tasteful garnish.)

      Spam moves in mysterious — and creepy — ways. Almost as creepy as google.

      P.

    8. Sean Kinsell says:

      “(Yep, found it by looking up ‘hillarious libertarian guys.’)”

      If only all my incoming searches were like that. I wouldn’t even mind “annoying faggot bitches” if they’d leave out the lesbo/groping video stuff.

      And spam? Yeah, you’re right. I guess it bothers me less, though, because I know it’s just sprayed at e-mail addresses like grapeshot. It’s not that some e-mail advertising barnyard fun finds your address because it searched you out.

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