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    Oh, the pain of lovin’ you / Oh, the mis’ry I go through

    There’s a search string pattern you straight people with blogs probably never get to see. It’s kind of a pity, because it can be a real trip.

    What you need to do is (1) mention gay stuff on your site a lot, and (2) mention a man who’s in the public eye lately and doesn’t need a paper bag over his head once. Then wait, oh, say 12 hours. At that point, you will be inundated with people searching for “[name]+gay” or “[name]+homosexual” or “[name]+queer+please+god+please.” Several months ago, I brought up the then-future Mr. Renée Zellweger in passing, and for weeks–no kidding, weeks–afterward, I was beset by Googlers and raving Yahoos with Enquiring Minds.

    The latest object of Googlelust is this guy, and I’m sorry to say to the few dozen people who are wondering that I have no idea which way he swings (or, since his hobby is chasing tornadoes, “blows”…oh, maybe not such a great metaphor, given the question…let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and make it “swings”). One lone, novel searcher asked whether he was married; I don’t know that, either. His bio indicates that he spent four years at Cornell thinking about the weather without offing himself, which is pretty impressive. Otherwise, all I know is that he needs to de-pouf the hair and eat a few Big Macs, but you can see that without my help.

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