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    Risky business

    I’ve discovered something worse than being told you look like Tom Cruise.

    I don’t mind that a lot of guys think some celebs are cute whom I find unappetizing–different strokes and all that. Also, as a white guy in Japan, you get a lot of hyperbolic comments comparing you to celebrities you only resemble in the most rudimentary terms of coloring. If you’re dark, you look like Tom Cruise. If you’re fair, you look like Brad Pitt. Now that I think of it, I haven’t happened to be involved in this discussion when one of my black acquaintances was present, but I’m going to bet they get told they look like Denzel Washington. Maybe Will Smith, but my money’s on Denzel.

    Anyway, the point is, I have dark hair, so the script calls for Tom. If someone deviates from it, that generally means that the comparison is heartfelt rather than formulaic. Which is why this line nearly gave me a coronary: “You look just like Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love.”

    “Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love“?


    Blech. Ew, ew, ew. Just, ew. That is not a way to get in well with me. Not.


    6 Responses to “Risky business”

    1. Zak says:

      I get compared often to Harrison Ford. Totally off base, but better than Tom Cruise. :)

    2. Sean Kinsell says:

      Yeah, especially if they mean Star Wars-era Harrison Ford.

      And man, I’d rather be compared to Geoffrey Rush in Shakespeare in Love than Joseph Fiennes. Hurl!

    3. Michael says:

      Seriously dude. You are so RALPH Fiennes in The Engrish Patient.

    4. Sean Kinsell says:

      Pre- or post-plane crash?

    5. Joel says:

      It’s the dark chin sprouts, dude–unless you’ve shaved them off again. That’s all. Heh, the young barber who gingerly trimmed my hair and beard in Japan last month told me I looked like Sean Connery. All he meant, I’m sure, is that my beard is much more salt than pepper (well, in my case, more mayonnaise than ketchup), and that I’m a good bit older than the movie stars you get compared to.

    6. Sean Kinsell says:

      No, I still have them. [scritch, scritch] And there are way worse things than being told you look like Sean Connery.

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