I don’t want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
In between intense writing sessions for her next studio album, expected in 2007, Alanis Morissette will spend this year working on a memoir.
To which the only sensible response is “Good grief, woman–is there anything you haven’t told us already?”
Apparently so. Look and be afraid:
“It will be all the wisdom I’ve accrued in the thirty-one years of my life [Be VERY afraid.–SRK],” the singer-songwriter says with a laugh. “A lot about relationships, fame, travel, body-image issues, spirit — with a lot of self-deprecating humor peppered throughout, ’cause I just can’t help it.”
I happen to like Alanis. Jagged Little Pill exploded the summer after graduation, when I was living with a bunch of friends for a last few months in Philadelphia and we were all excited about the future and stuff, so I have great memories of that record. Also, unlike a lot of other confessional-bitch singer/songwriters (Hi, Tori!), Alanis doesn’t mix in all kinds of fey and twee crap to convince you that she really is nice and cuddly after all. And she writes fantastic tunes–I’m a sucker for a good melody.
An Alanis memoir, though? Kinda thinking I don’t really need it.
Alanis and I went to the same high school and grew up in the same neighbourhood in Ottawa. But I think I’m about seven years older than her so I never met her. However, she was a kid star on TV in Canada, so we all sure knew about her!
Wow. I wonder whether she was always such a naval-gazer. I actually kind of like it when she writes about what a vengeful shrew she is; it’s when she thinks she’s got life lessons to impart to us that we’re in trouble.
Yes, I would say it’s a safe bet that we’re in trouble whenever *any* celebrity feels they have life lessons to impart to us!
Would you believe I actually sang backup for Alanis at a concert back in the early 90’s?
Rondi:
No kidding. That bubble of affluence and adoration really seems to convince them that they’ve come to some profound, universal understanding of how life works at the same time as it…well, keeps them from understanding how life works.
Michael:
HONEY, that’s great! In her Canada’s-answer-to-Debbie-Gibson period? (Yeah, I know, that’s the States-centric way of looking at it, but it gets the point across.)
Please tell me you had to dance in formation. Or at least sway.
Yes, I did. Way back when I did that sort of thing.
A naval-gazer? Does she like to look at ships, or sailors, or something?
[/me takes cover]
Huh? Oh, typo.
Actually, it means she likes to gaze longingly at the guys disembarking when the ship comes into port AS DO WE ALL YOU UPTIGHT LITTLE PEDANT.
I’ll fix it.
Jeez, everyone’s a comedian.
I think it was Milton Berle, who upon hearing a 24 year old torch singer do “I did it my way” responded, DID WHAT? You’re barely out of diapers.
Memoirs from a 30 year old? I can imagine the title now “Sophomoric Ramblings from a Consumate Whiner: trying to undertand why men don’t want to be around me for very long.” WE KNOW. WE KNOW. It’s because you WHINE. Stop doing it.
Gawd. Visions of Sylvia Plath are running through my head. MAKE IT STOP.
Please assure me she won’t do that TV bookselling thing… appearing on Fox News, 10 million new LiveJournal blogs devoted to discussing her insights… noooooooooooooooo.
MAKE IT STOP!
I sure would like to gaze longingly at the guys disembarking, &c., if I lived somewhere near a port.
As for “uptight”, well, I sometimes even relax. Really. No kidding. (Why nobody ever believes me when I say this?)
Connie:
“Please assure me she won’t do that TV bookselling thing… appearing on Fox News, 10 million new LiveJournal blogs devoted to discussing her insights… noooooooooooooooo.”
You can run, but you can’t hide. Luckily, since her era of mega-celebrity is over, the publicity splash may be limited.
Marzo:
“I sure would like to gaze longingly at the guys disembarking, &c., if I lived somewhere near a port.”
Well, most of the guys getting off ships in my port city are middle-aged Japanese men. Not really my type.
djidubndw
kaguuedl wiywshk afxoqhgsq
diet-pill
The new mode might sound a bit strange, even bizarre. But that ought to tell us something
Free Sex
Sex Toys Dildos Sex Aids Sex Toys Online
Buy Cheap Diazepam-Valium
this week
celebrities
i lay there like a piece of meat, being seen to by a butcher with seven and a half fingers left.
hardcore porn
Tonight they
buy xanax
One day at the Tipton Hotel